Talk a little less, and listen more

"Talk a little less, and listen more. – Less advice is often the best advice.  People don’t need lots of advice, they need a listening ear and some positive reinforcement.  What they want to know is often already somewhere inside of them.  They just need time to think, be and breathe, and continue to explore the undirected journeys that will eventually help them find their direction."

This excerpt (appearing in two of internet articles I've read... you know, those cheesy ones with lists, 
on how to live a good/happy life etc.) really hit home for me.

I believe that it's never in my position to tell anyone (esp. my best friends and even my baby sister) whether they should break up with someone who isn't right for them (unless of course the someone is already physically abusing them). 

I believe that we can't stop someone from pursuing what their heart wants. 

Time and time again, we have seen loved ones make choices that we have directly expressed disapproval or disagreement for. I myself have been on the other side too, knowing what the right thing is to do, and yet failing to bring myself to heed their advice. 

Out of concern and perhaps a place of perceived clarity, we tell ourselves: 
because we have suffered the pain in similar situations; 
we think that our loved one is the victim, the one being taken advantage of.

The truth is, our loved ones are making their choices with a lucid mind. 
Their choices reflects what makes the most sense or benefit to them at that period of time.  
They just don't want to admit to themselves what the odds are, 
because they have faith that things will work out.

And who are we to crush that little bit of faith?

Who are we to say that that little bit of faith won't triumph against the odds?

Only time shall reveal the endings to us - how the ending unfolds is the greatest of all truths.  

In the end, it's our loved ones' life and journey, not ours... we shouldn't try too hard to control. 
We have our say, and that's it. We do not impose. Imposing is selfish and narcissistic. 

What we can do, is try our best to be a good friend when they need us, and just listen. 

Try this: http://las.blogspot.com/

Tiny

Mornings when I'm in the gym on the 14th floor, this little white butterfly flies by, outside the window. It always flies off in the same direction; it first rises from floors beneath, shows itself to me, and then proceeds to head off to the opposite building.

Up and down, up and down it beats its wings. A tiny being in a metropolis, strung in between cold uncaring skyscrapers.

It can't be the same butterfly, could it?

waterfall

He said he likes listening to the rain. I've liked watching the pitter patter of drops so eagerly meeting earth, never discriminating hard nor soft surfaces, slippery nor coarse, living and dead; but dismissed the sound as simply white noise. He said so as he cleared the table for our art project--we splattered paint on shirts, the rain behind him like a waterfall curtain.

A headache today. So I was pulling over myself a blanket when the first drops of the lingering gray sky began to chime. The memory of his uttered words ran through my mind, like lighted wordings of an electronic banner.

a year later

a song played familiar

a year later

a smile ten times wider

http://jiayueh.tumblr.com/

Day 6: Cafe at the marketplace

Failed to sketch for Day 4 and 5. I just felt really drained and unmotivated. Then I realised I was doing it all wrong. 


There's 2 ways I could sketch someone:
1. Spend a good few minutes memorising the look of a person's pose and expression before I even start drawing. So I don't have to be exactly where the subject is, because I can memorise something interesting I see earlier on, and then draw it out later in another place. The downside to this approach is that I would be focusing more on the structure and form of the subject, and details would be hard to add in later, because the subject isn't there for me to refer back to,
2. Sit where the subject is, and draw detail by detail, all the while referring back to the subject. This makes it easy to add in details (such as shadows, wrinkles, concave areas, creases in clothing etc.) but the annoying bit is when the subject moves away immediately, I'm left with half a face in my sketchbook. And I don't even take too long to sketch a full recognisable face, under 5 minutes. But one sneeze, one turn too long, and the moment could be gone in less than 2 seconds.


So I've been doing it with Approach 2 from Day 1-3, and it is tiring, and irritating at times--because I like to find a relatively still subject that is interesting and challenging to sketch. And today I just remembered that I've forgotten to do Approach 1, so I did. The two girls' faces are the end result of glances at passing strangers at the market, but I'm still not happy how I can't add more details to them afterwards. The girl with the mushroom hair on the left was so adorable!