so don't feel bad about transitioning from friend to non-friend

I really do hate it when someone (and especially someone which I do not consider close) hits me. If conducted repeatedly, it irritates me the hell out of me.

Speaking to a new(re)found friend, I realize it is often the cases that lack closure are the ones we think about again and again. Find ourselves agitating over it, it jabs you behind the knees even when you thought you’ve shut it in a box somewhere in your mind.

From reading, I‘ve resolved some of my thoughts. And let go.

From Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle:

‘But as is so often the case with men who have made it like this (referring to men who established some form of status in society, from perceivably humble beginnings), he was arrogant and self-righteous’

I found solace in ‘Nothing so consumes a person as meaningless exertion’, when the main character referred to his falling out with his father-in-law.

‘The relief this gave me bordered on ecstasy’.

I was discussing with my housemate E today about phasing out of friends which we find irritating, which she admits she does too, only to feel bad about it after.

I replied that there should not be a reason to feel bad about it, because if they had so selfishly imposed themselves on you when you can’t stand them, then who’s going to look out for your self-interest?

No one, but yourself really.

Other people are going to think that you’re a bitch anyway, no matter what we do. So we must as well do whatever that pleases us. Like what YN said to me last year, 'You're a bitch, it means you stand up for yourself!'

SWEET.

From Bitch: in praise of difficult women, by Elizabeth Wurtzel, ‘Bad girls understand that there is no point in being good and suffering in silence. What good has good ever done? We women still only make seventy-one cents, on average, for every man’s dollar… Princess Diana behaved with perfect restraint and dignity for years—waving from the royal horse coach and giving her head over to millinery madness, all the while her husband carried on with Camilla Parker Bowles—and what good did it do her?’t

So what the hell, I had my justifications. I could dish everything out now, but I’m not going to. Because it’s beneath me and behind me. So let go. Not that I haven’t; I had, since last month.

But I think I can’t write bout anything else without getting this out of my system.

Out with the old. In with the rest!