is a fit what you think it is?

3 years down the relationship, I start to lose the awareness of his maleness and my femaleness. In some way, we've moved past the shallow physical dynamics. It makes me wonder, if it weren't for the attraction, would I still know him as he is, would he know me? In a genderless world, would we still connect?

I don't want to go all out and say that it feels like we're a half of each other, and we make a whole. Because that wouldn't be true. We are still very much separate entities and identities.

But I can tell you this, that when we hang out, it falls into place. It fits. (Or maybe I'm making something out of nothing? We humans are good at that. At convincing ourselves something when it's convenient, finding excuses to fit our logic).

Things may not work out sometimes, with my hormones and boredom preying on me. I start picking at little things, mostly because I still expect some sort of thrill or strong emotion that I've always felt, especially in the first few years of being together. The overwhelming feeling that assures me Yes, I feel so strongly for us, it's why we must be.

I want to feel inspired, excited, courted!

I really don't want to fall into the old couple routine, but slowly I am accepting that it is happening.

The good part of it is that no matter what nasty things we say/do, it doesn't matter, it won't damage the relationship.

The bad part of it is that no matter what nasty things we say/do, it doesn't matter, it won't damage the relationship.