thinking about... PDA!

I am sure you have seen couples on lawns in broad daylight, looking like they are about to hump each other, and since Facebook, there are now a number posts on walls expressing love. Public displays of affection in modern society are all about and all around us everyday! While some people think it’s sweet, some others think a lot about the 'indecency' and appropriateness of this non-discretion.

I have been meaning to do a post about inappropriate public displays of affection, weighing out the good and mostly the bad (for arguments’ sake, let’s just assume that we all know what is appropriate and what is not appropriate PDA at the moment). So I ran up a Google search about what has been written it, right?

Found a guy who writes about the subject pretty well, in my opinion, but I got stumped when he said that people who do not like to see PDA are the ones who are jealous, because they secretly want it, but can’t have it.

So for one day, I thought about how right he was, as I pondered about whether I was being unreasonable. Was I just jealous, deep down inside?

And then today I remembered. I remembered the jealous backdoor excuse. This he/she’s just jealous excuse has bound to cross everyone’s mind at least in one stage in his/her life, especially when you are dealing with another who seems to misunderstand (or go against) you as a persona. This act of labeling someone else as jealous of your happiness is really in fact a very escapist and self-ego inflating thought.

Case A: A few years ago, I had a friend in the group who always made fun of nearly everything I said to other people, when I never really was close to her in the first place. At first I thought ‘maybe she’s just expressing her spite at me, because she’s jealous of my achievements with grades and ability to make witty catchy jokes’.

Sometime later I told some of my friends that I have been upset as a result, and they told her to consider that. So she confronted me, and I realized how apologetic she was. She was merely trying to make friends with me, as that was how she did it--she would literally tease people most of the time--she didn’t realize that I was not used to that particular style of communication. She and I have been good friends since, and I have adapted to that style of conversationing.

Case B: And then I have this other friend whose parent was not happy with her not achieving anything in life. She stayed at home, mostly investing in small shares in minor companies, when she should have had a full time career, at her age. This friend shared with me her thoughts, she thought her parent was merely jealous at her good life, for her parent had to work hard at her age.

This can’t be right. Afterall, parents do ultimately consider the best for you, if they care enough.

Example C: One thing that comes to mind is old man-hot young woman pairings. I bet they assign the dirty looks they get everyday as everyone else is just jealous! Truth is, people do also think a lot along the lines of gold digger, yuck how do you sleep with your grandfather, and eyesore.

Case D: Another friend had some archenemy in school who hated her guts for no apparent reason. This archenemy would simply bastardise my friend behind her back to other people, trying to build up a bad reputation for her, when in reality, they have rarely ever spoken to each other, even as friends.

At first, we simply shrugged it off as ‘maybe archenemy’s jealous of my friend’s natural ability to make other people like her’. Truth is, due to lack of touch and better curiousity, we never found out the entire story.

Anyway, my point is, see how easy and lazy it is to boost your own ego by assuring yourself that the other person is merely jealous, and possibly crazy?

I mean, there’s nothing wrong with displaying your affection to your beloved in public, in front of other people. All I’m saying is that, sometimes you need to be considerate of other people’s feelings, especially the ones that you care about, no matter how expressive a person you are! For example, it is okay to kiss and hug in a mall, on the streets; it is okay to even get the dirty in an abandoned alleyway; just please do not put a finger up your beloved ass in a supermarket, or coo at and caress each other at a table full of single friends.

There is a line between being expressive and being inconsiderate.

Now some could say those single friends just need to man up and go get laid, but I think that’s an awful thing to say. What if your friend is just waiting for the right one or right time? A lot of people (I know I did) have to spend a long time to find the right one, because in reality, the right fit does not come along at the right time. Life is full of uncertainty! Parents and movies would teach you that there’s plenty of fish in the sea, but what if you just like salmon? You can fish everyday but maybe 1 out of 100 days, you catch one salmon? Assuming that you are not in a salmon habitat, that is, assuming that you are in an area where the fish species are vast and catch is really random.

You could also argue that I am just jealous because I do not get enough PDA, which is little true, but mostly untrue.

My partner and I have come across as pretty frigid and separate entities when with our friends. I have been told about the impressions we get as a result. While one guy thought we look as though we have just had a fight, but most people just found it comfortable to hang out with the both of us.

But we do hold hands and I get a piggyback ride often when we think no one else is watching. We are just the type of people who have found it really uncomfortable to see over-the-top PDA, and we really don’t like to subject it to our watching friends. Call us shy or old-fashioned.

Now I know that everyone has different preferences, but I think that it does not hurt to be considerate of others around you sometimes, especially if they are your close friends. Inappropriate PDA is just like smoking in a friend's bedroom or drinking alcohol in front of religious friends. Sometimes it’s just nice to be courteous and thoughtful.